On Marrying Young

So, I recently shared an article on my blog’s Facebook page that sparked a lot of conversation. It was called 10 Things You Should Know About People Who Get Married Young.  Between my surprise over just how much people had to say on this topic and my love for all things marriage related, I just couldn’t resist continuing the conversation here on the blog.

You see, this was me too.  My high school sweetheart and I were married at 21 and 22, and tomorrow we’ll be celebrating 14 years.  I’ve been blessed with a loving, generous, gentle man – he’s far from perfect, but definitely perfect for me.  We’ve walked some hard roads in the past 13 years and learned so much from all the ups and downs, but especially the hard – isn’t that always the case?

Take a peek inside the marriages of real women who married young!So I’ll be sharing some of those lessons learned in my next post, but first I thought it’d be fun and interesting to hear from women with wise words and encouragement to share.  Below are many of the convos that were happening following the post on my Facebook page.

They definitely hit home and got me thinking since I always felt strongly about guiding my children to wait longer to get married than my husband and I did.  The Mama-bear protector in me feels I don’t want my kids to have to struggle as my husband and I did right off the bat, and research confirms the younger the age of marriage, the more challenges couples typically face.  But along with all the challenges of young marriage come certain amazing perks like getting to grow up with your best friend too! That was definitely the case for Brian and me!  Besides, you’ll never hit 75 years of wedded bliss if you don’t start young  😉

So let’s explore multiple perspectives together, shall we?  Be sure to let us know your own take on it too – we’d love to hear from more of you in the comments!

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I met my husband when we were both in high school. Senior year we met-I was 17. We had no idea that just a year later we would be in a long distance relationship. I think I questioned if we were too young, and put the brakes on, but God wins and we were married at 24-not terribly young. It was great over all because we have known each other so long, through so many life changes, and experiences, that we are just so comfortable and thankful for each other. We truly believe that we were meant to be-even though our relationship has not been perfect. Luckily we have patience and perseverance to keep improving. – Jaimi E.

I met my husband in 7th grade, but he was just another guy in youth group. By high school, we were really good friends and just before my 16th birthday, we started dating. Married when we were both in college at 20 and married 26 years strong until he passed away suddenly.  – Lisa A.

My husband and I were 18 when we married. No regrets! We will be celebrating 15 years in December. We are blessed with six kids. We had a beautiful wedding and honeymoon. We met our senior year of high school and knew God had a great plan of our lives. We have been serving as missionaries in Southeast Asia for 7 years now When our friends were out bowling and partying, we were out looking for a house to call home once we were married. When our friends were chatting about hair, shopping etc, my husband and I were chatting about walking with God, future plans and different views on the Christian walk. I think it totally depends on the maturity of the person. I don’t recommend it for everyone at 18! You can include my comment or view in your post if you like. – Alison W.

My husband and I met in high school (I was 17, he was 16) and I didn’t know instantly we would get married but I don’t think I would have ever dated anyone I didn’t think I could eventually marry. After 6 months of dating we knew we would eventually get married but decided to wait until we both finished college. 5 years to the day of getting together, we got married (one month after graduating college). I will say that getting married young or being with the same person since your youth will mean that you grow up together. It’s been so much fun and I wouldn’t change a thing. – Lena G.

I got pregnant 2 weeks after i turned 20. I had been engaged for 2 years to their father. We got married when they were 18 months old even though A LOT of people tried to say we should get married as soon as i found out I was pregnant but I was NOT getting married because we got pregnant, only because we loved each other.

We had a lot of rough years but things are finally looking up….it’s been an amazing experience to go through so much with my husband and have us still so in love with each other. He’s an amazing man and I’m so lucky I was able to find him so soon in my life.

We have been together for 9 1/2 years and will celebrate 5 years married this October, which is around the same time we will be closing on our first home. – Ariel E.

My husband and I got married when he was twenty and I was twenty one. There were tons of people who obviously didn’t know us well who were all upset with us. Our friends and family said it was about time!!! Happily married for one year and hoping for many many more!! – Sabra G.

Married on my 20th birthday. Happily married still and more in love now, just celebrated 15 years – June W.

Married at 18 and ready to celebrate 18 years in October! It hasn’t always been easy and we’ve grown up a lot together, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I think young love is beautiful and I’m glad I got to hang on to mine! – Krista R.

I got married at 24 and married for 15 years. We go through good and bad times, but we communicate with each other, give each other space at times, but we both work together to make things work – Lisa D.

Married at 20 and thankingGod for the 57 good years we had together. He died a year ago and I miss him every day. – Barabara H.

Met at 16 (my husband was actually a month shy of 16) got engaged at 18 after 4 years of dating…married at 19.  Our 3 year anniversary is coming up in December and we have a beautiful 16 month old! I love that we could make it past our 75th anniversary! (Lord willing!)  – Samantha B.

Engaged at 19, married at 20. Yay for getting married young!  – Julie H.

Married at 22, going on 8 years, and I am more thankful for my husband than ever. We aren’t living “the sweet life” and I can see how early marriage could possibly make economic success difficult, but we are living a GOOD life. Every year I become more aware how amazing my guy is, his character, his giving heart, his love for our three-year-old. I’d rather be broke with him than rich with anyone else. – Joy S. thejoyfultruth.com

Take a peek inside the marriages of real women who married young!

For more on young marriage & motherhood, check out another perspective here:

How I knew my husband was the one

Five years in and still in love

I don’t regret being a young mom

How old were you when you got married?  What is your favorite thing about married life – no matter what age you were married?  🙂  Want more inspiration for your marriage?  Check out these outdoor date ideas and 26 simple ways to connect with your spouse.

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22 Comments

  1. Terri wrote:

    This is such an endearing post. My husband and I started dating when I was 18 and got married when I was 24. Not terribly young- but still young enough to hear the critics. Though, financially it’s sometimes a challenge being married young, I wouldn’t change a minute of it. I’m a different person than I was at 18. I can’t help but smile when I realize that though we’ve grown, we’ve grown together and closer with each passing minute.

    Posted 8.25.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      This made me smile – I just love hearing everyone’s stories! Thanks for sharing Terri!

      Posted 8.25.15 Reply
  2. Erin wrote:

    My husband & I were married at 22. Three and a half years later, we are still going strong! We are adventure partners & best friends. So in love! <3

    Posted 8.25.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Love it! Wishing you many years of big love and epic adventures!

      Posted 8.25.15 Reply
  3. My husband and I met in our college apartments and 10 months later were married at age 22. We’ve been married for three years now with a 1 year old boy. We’ve definitely had our trials and still have more, but it’s nice to know that with all the hardships of being a 20-something, we have each other to lean on.

    Posted 8.25.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      So sweet! Thanks for sharing, Tayler 🙂

      Posted 8.25.15 Reply
  4. When I hear stories of how people met, fell in love and got married it always makes me so emotional. I just love hearing about young love and marrying young. I’m 23 and I’m a huge supporter of two people marrying at my age. I know the challenges can be really tough and there are a lot of risks involved in getting married at a young age, but I firmly believe that if you and your husband are brought together by God then your love and union is blessed by God and so worth it. So happy that you and your husband are celebrating your 14th year of marriage. So romantic and you guys are truly blessed

    Posted 8.25.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Totally agree and this heartwarming comment made me smile big! Thank you Felice 🙂

      Posted 8.25.15 Reply
  5. I love love love this post! My fiancé and I are getting married next June and we’ll both be 23. We’ve gotten a lot of criticism from members of his family and some of our friends saying that we are too young. Its frustrating! Thanks for sharing this post!

    Posted 8.25.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      You’re welcome, thanks for reaching out and congratulations on your engagement Kaycie!

      Posted 8.26.15 Reply
  6. My husband and I got married at 22 and 21 and have been married 14 years today! Same story, crazy! I used to think I got married quite young and would advise my children to wait a little longer but I’m straying from that idea as I ger older. One reason being, is if you choose to have a larger family, you have a little more time to do so. Ultimately though, I just want my kids to go where God leads them. If that means marrying young, marrying later or not marrying at all, I’m good with it. 🙂

    Posted 8.26.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      So nice to hear your viewpoint on this – I like the way you think! Also love that we were married on the very same day in 2001, so neat! Thanks for being here, Katie!

      Posted 8.26.15 Reply
  7. Listening to these stories of young love and marriage take me back. I fell in love with the perfect girl at 18. She was beautiful, kind, and loved me unconditionally. We went everywhere together we were inseparable. We even wore matching outfits on our date!. I still have some of the pics:) We planned to marry at 21 but then I the place where I worked was shut down. Not having a job I wanted to postpone but she didn’t. She said we could live at her parents and I did not want to live with an unbelieving Father who was always challenging the worthiness of being his son. I that wish back then I would have been stronger in Christ and had my eyes on Him instead of my circumstances. Now all these years later we are both still single. We have lost track of each other. My sister believes we will meet again someday. I say that is up to God. My point being; cherish the young love that God has blessed you with and continues to blossom. Also, as someone mentioned in the comments, i think maturity is a key is a successful marriage at a young age. Yes there will be struggles but as my both of my sisters have shown me having married young and happily over 10+ years. Having God at the center has allowed their young marriages to thrive. well at least I got to cater both of THEIR weddings! Thanks for sharing this wonderful post and allowed me to travel down memory lane for just a moment. May God continue to richly bless You and your marriage! Congratulations:)

    Posted 8.26.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Horace, wow! What an amazing story – sounds like something straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel 😉 I will pray that you may meet again someday, in God’s timing!

      Posted 8.26.15 Reply
  8. andi wrote:

    but God has ALWAYS guided your marriage – and that’s what truly matters 😀

    Posted 8.26.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      You are so right about that! Thank you Andi!

      Posted 8.26.15 Reply
  9. Love your story! I’m single so not so qualified to comment, but I know my parents were married young (my mom was 15) and they’ve been together for 30+ years. I have friends who got married young and yes they face challenges, but it’s cool to see them make it work.

    Posted 8.26.15 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Wow what an awesome success story! Thanks for sharing your perspective Adriana!

      Posted 8.26.15 Reply
  10. Wendy wrote:

    After preparing for the single life and a career, I met my husband in the last year of both our college programs, got married a year later – both 22 – just celebrated 30 wonderful years and 4 kids.

    Posted 8.26.15 Reply
  11. Amberly wrote:

    I love this!!! We married young in most people’s eyes, but in our religious culture, we married kind of old haha, 22 and 23…. so young to lots of people though. I love finding other people who are just as passionate about marriage as I am! I’ll definitely be back for more!

    Posted 8.27.15 Reply
  12. Anitra wrote:

    What a great conversation. I was 19 and my husband was 21 when we married and we just celebrated our 21st anniversary. There were definitely challenges (but all marriages have those!) and I would definitely make the same choice if we had it all to do over again. Great post!

    Posted 8.27.15 Reply