The Imaginary Woman

I think of the Imaginary Woman often when I fall short.  I’m not even sure when I first met her, but it was sometime between becoming a mother before I was even close to ready and living as a ‘sometimes single’ mom for seven years. I never meant to invite her into my life, yet she is notorious for hanging around far past her welcome.
You know the one - that imaginary woman we all tend to measure ourselves against when we're bitten by the comparison bug. Learn how to leave comparison behind and say goodbye for good!

She is the imaginary woman I tend to measure myself against when I’m not satisfied with my efforts from my own strength. “But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” 2 Corinthians 10:12 So often I forget that God is actually more greatly glorified in the stark reality of our human inadequacy. When we’re weak – that’s when He shows himself strong.

It’s on days when I’ve had a lack of rest or troubles abounding that I am most prone to compare myself to those around me. I wonder how other women seem to “do it all” when all I really need to do is surrender to His strength and remember I was never meant to carry that burden. I need not rely on my limited abilities or even look to those around me, but rather go to the throne of God in prayer, seek His face, and rest in His power.

Weakness is not something to be ashamed of nor is it something to hide. My weakness reveals God’s strength and shows exactly what He can do through me that I have no ability to do on my own. Like the apostle Paul, we must recognize our sufficiency comes not from ourselves, but from God.’ Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God” 2 Corinthians 3:5.

The fact is, that other woman I’m prone to compare myself to doesn’t really exist. I will never measure up as long as I measure myself against an imaginary standard that none of us can meet. Indeed, that standard can only be found in our sinless Creator Himself.

The Imaginary Woman

Let’s talk more about learning to give ourselves grace right here and here too!  And I’d love to hear about what you’re learning in this journey called life – please share in the comments below  🙂

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20 Comments

  1. Debra wrote:

    Thanks for your post. A good reminder of what comparison creates or kills. Our self esteem takes a hit and our mojo is completely off. Running to the “Rock” Christ Jesus brings our focus back on reality.

    Blessings ~Debra

    Posted 8.7.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      So true! Thank you for your thoughtful feedback, Debra!

      Posted 8.7.14 Reply
  2. Alex wrote:

    So on point! I struggle with this as well. I think I take the good bits and parts of women I know and create some sort of unattainable standard for myself.

    “So often I forget that God is actually more greatly glorified in the stark reality of our human inadequacy. When we’re weak – that’s when He shows himself strong.” <– THIS is something I will be reminding myself of over the next week! Thank you for sharing truth!

    Posted 8.8.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      So grateful you found encouragement here! Praising Him that His truth alone can set us free! May you have a beautiful and intentional week ahead!

      Posted 8.8.14 Reply
  3. Anonymous wrote:

    Amen Sister! Amen

    Posted 8.8.14 Reply
  4. strainme wrote:

    Some days I need the reminder that I am enough, because I am who God made me to be. My strength is only in Him. Thank you!

    Posted 8.10.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Some days that is me too. But ALL days our strength is found in Him alone! Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

      Posted 8.10.14 Reply
  5. I enjoyed reading this! I had to grab my Bible and read the referance (2cor.10:12) it context. It got even more beautiful as I read His word. Like it was speaking directly to my soul. In the following verses it speaks of commending others and comparing ourselves etc. I especially loves 2cor.10:18 “For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one the Lord commends.” Who cares what others say…I am pre-approved by God! Blessings to your day, Sybil. Thank you for posting this!

    Posted 8.13.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Yes! Thanks so much for your wise & encouraging comment Kaylene!

      Posted 8.13.14 Reply
  6. “So often I forget that God is actually more greatly glorified in the stark reality of our human inadequacy. When we’re weak – that’s when He shows himself strong”… I love these lines. I love this whole post actually 🙂 Isn’t it amazing that we are all somehow thinking that each one of us possesses what none of us do? perfection. Wow.

    Posted 8.13.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Yes! It is amazing, when in reality all we really need most is to soak up the grace freely given by God and show each other that grace too. He never asked or expected that any of us be without shortcomings & weakness – that’s why He sent us a Savior : )

      Posted 8.14.14 Reply
  7. Sarah Ann wrote:

    Unfortunately she comes to my house, too, and is there in my weakest moments. So insightful and inspiring. So glad God is bigger than she is!! Thanks for sharing this piece of encouragement at the Saturday Soiree Blog Party!!!

    Posted 8.14.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Thanks for your visit and your comment Sarah!!

      Posted 8.15.14 Reply
  8. I am so there, some days! I just have to rest in HIS grace and remember that I can’t do it all.

    Posted 8.20.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Exactly! Blessings to you as you rest in HIS grace, Nikki : )

      Posted 8.20.14 Reply
  9. Brandi wrote:

    Girl,
    You just read my mail and I could just hug you. I too have had this imaginary woman that I am far-too-often comparing myself to. And yes, I am working on evicting her from my space.
    I LOVE THIS POST! Thank you! (I stumbled on this post as I was reading some of your others…) 🙂 Beautiful blog!!
    ~Brandi

    Posted 10.3.14 Reply
    • Sybil Brun wrote:

      Thank you so much Brandi, I could just hug you too! It’s good to know we are not alone in this struggle, as most all of us continue to work on evicting her from our mental space!

      Posted 10.3.14 Reply